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how to fit in with a group

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How do you fit in with a new group?

If you’re trying to fit in, it’s usually best to look at the groups that have desires and tastes similar to yours. You shouldn’t have to change yourself to fit in. If your new group is pressuring you into things that you don’t want to do, either stand up for yourself or find other people who share your values.

How do you fit in with other people?

Fitting in isn’t just about showing similar interests, but bonding. If you can, find an activity that requires group problem solving and teamwork (sports are especially ideal). People tend to bond easily to others who are united in a common goal. Tell jokes and smile a lot. Smiles are the universal sign of acceptance and tend to be contagious.

How do you learn about a group of people?

Learning about a Group Identify the group that you want to fit in with. Be mindful of the social norms at your school. Observe your group to find out what they value most. Do physical things which show that you have similar values. Introduce yourself to the group with confidence. Join a sports team or club that your group is a part of.

How to be part of a tight-kit group of friends?

Be patient while waiting for acceptance from the group. Don’t act desperate, as that can repulse others. It takes time to become fully included in any tight-kit group of friends, so relax and let things evolve at their own pace. [9] Avoid dramatically changing yourself just to fit in.


Don’t waste a lot of time worrying about having the right friend group. Enjoy yourself and trust that if you are having a good time, friendships will come naturally.


Beware of peer pressure. Never do something that feels wrong just to fit in with a group.

About This Article

This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.

Making Friends With People in a Group

One of the hardest things to do when it comes to making friends is getting acceptance into an existing group. When people have a dynamic already established, your very existence is going to disrupt that. Some groups are more welcoming than others, but as a general rule being accepted into a group is no easy task.

Give It Time

Getting to know people in a group. Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Show Up to Group Activities and Don’t Rock the Boat

In the beginning, go with the flow, even if it feels odd to you. Trying to suggest new ways to do things right from the beginning may rock the boat too much. Instead, get to know the individuals and how they rank and interact. After that, you’ll have an easier time relaxing and showing your true personality.

Get to Know One Person Who Can Help You Get Acclimated

A good strategy for getting acceptance into a larger group is to "divide and conquer." You’ll probably feel closer to one or two people immediately, so give some time and attention to the individual friendships that develop.

Ask Group Members About Themselves

People like to tell their own stories, so get to know the folks in the group by asking them to tell you about their kids, spouses, jobs, hobbies, and life. A great question to start with is, "How do you know the rest of the members of the group?" or "How did you first come to join this group?"

Don’t Get Discouraged

Getting to know new friends (no matter if you do it individually or in a group) is hard work. Conversations take more time, you need to be on your most pleasant behavior, and you’ll feel as if you’re doing everything "their" way in the beginning. That’s okay. In fact, it’s normal.

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